
What is Ontological Coaching
The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as “Coaching is
partnering with client in a thought provoking, creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership. We all have goals we want to reach, challenges we’re striving to overcome and times when we feel stuck. Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment.”
In our coaching, you will choose the focus of the conversation within a formal coaching agreement, in a safe, confidential relationship; all to help you move forward with your most important, self-selected goals. As an Ontological, Ecological coach specializing in Cognitive Behavior, I am very aware that it is important to explore not only what you bring to the session, but also what’s underneath your motivations.
Ontology is the study of being and Ontological Coaching focuses on Way of Being as the avenue to deep and sustainable behavioral change. Way of Being is the underlying driver of our behavior and communication and is where our perceptions and attitudes live, many of which can be restricting us but are deep seated and out of awareness.
Ontological Coaching is a holistic approach to what is required for sustainable change, working with the integration of feelings, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, language, and body that comprise a client’s Way of Being. While we cannot always control our emotions and thought processes, what we can control is how we show up and how we respond. In order to create sustainable change and shifts in your default ways of thinking and behaving, language, emotions and body are each area of learning and there must be shifts in all three areas for change to “stick”.
Here is a brilliant perspective from author Andy Andrews: “The average person meets the edge of confusion and turns away. He runs from confusion at its beginning, at its first appearance. I cannot do this." - he says. “This is not for me." He will not live with or even near confusion and seeks an easier path. The mature person - the high achiever- will understand that life's grand prizes are guarded by confusion. The mature person senses the victory that exists beyond confusion and says "I cannot do this yet. I am not good at this yet, but I will work and learn and become better until I am competent, then excellent, then great! I will struggle and persist through confusion until I break through to the understanding or greater skill required for victory."
A coach can support you to break through the self-limitations and develop the skills, language and ways of being for other possibilities to emerge.
The Method
Through coaching, you will have a deeper understanding of language. Language as action.
Language as creation. It is only through listening deeply that a coach can enter the reality of
another human being; being curious about what’s beneath your words, communicate directly, break
through limitations and reveal any possible blind spots that can open new possibilities and results, so you
can begin to live life by design rather than by default.
For many people in today’s world, life has become one of relentless change that places constant demands on their mental and emotional abilities. The ontological methodology is a powerful means to significantly expand mental and emotional
capabilities. A coach does not give advice nor do you need “fixing.” We perceive people as capable and competent, whole and complete, and only in that space can coaching occur.
Articles
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"Like a therapist, a life coach is someone who can help you identify strengths and weaknesses and overcome obstacles holding you back. But who you should see depends on your issues and what you’re hoping to achieve. So here’s what you need to know before you reach out..."
"Why Is Your Boss Asking About Your Feelings? Inside the Empathy Management Trend" - Ray A. Smith, Wall Street Journal | May, 2022
"Empathetic leadership has long had corporate disciples, but the concept has become a bigger focus of management training and executive coaching as businesses seek ways to bolster staff worn down by the pandemic’s stresses, or at least show they are trying..."
"We Need to Talk More About Mental Health at Work" - Morra Aarons-Mele, Harvard Business Review | Nov, 2018
"Understanding your psyche can be the key to unleashing your strengths — whether it’s using your sensitivity to empathize with clients, your anxiety to be a more thoughtful boss, or your need for space to forge new and interesting paths. When we acknowledge our mental health, we get to know ourselves better, and are more authentic people, employees, and leaders..."
"A new framework: Mental health benefits in the post-pandemic workplace" - Scott Wooldridge, BenefitsPRO | Apr, 2022
"The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on employee benefits, and one area of major change is mental health. Industry observers notice two major factors affecting mental health benefits: a surge in demand by employees who seem to have moved past the traditional stigma around seeking mental health services, and the embrace of telehealth options as a way to treat mental health issues..."
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"Five Reasons Why Leaders Need A Coach More Than Ever" - Xavier Preterit, Forbes Councils Member, Forbes | Mar, 2022
"The role of a coach is to accompany and allow the person being coached to surpass themself and improve on their own... A business or leadership coach is no exception to the rule, and they are called upon by new leaders to support the leaders of today and tomorrow. Today, being coached as a leader is a lever that should not be overlooked. Why? Here are the main reasons..."
"Burnout Has Been Causing Working Parents To Quit; Here’s How To Reduce The Attrition" - Deborah Lovich, Contributor, Forbes | Jul, 2022
"Recent research shows that one of the primary reasons working parents consider quitting their jobs is intense stress and burnout..."
"5 Ways Women In the Workplace Can Set Healthy Boundaries to Combat Burnout" - Tammie Chang, MD, Thrive Global | Jun, 2022
"I believe we can have it all—successful careers and families—but this means we absolutely can’t do it all on our own. Healthy boundaries are paramount so that we can combat burnout and have a long and fulfilling career..."
"Women Are Working More Than Ever, But They Still Take On Most Household Responsibilities" - Maggie Germano, Contributor, Forbes | Mar, 2019
"Although working mothers spend more time on work, household labor, and child care than fathers, they are not more likely to have access to workplace policies such as paid family and medical leave, paid sick days, workplace flexibility, and affordable childcare..."